Monday, January 31, 2005
Today another sian day... Except that i can finally pitch the higher register (concert high f to top c) with much ease now and it sounds alrite, as kun won said.. i'm kinda more enthu in band wif this new found technique.. lol.. but my tone for lower register sucks now lor.. bleargh

english was seriously fun.. laurang missed half and hr of her period and came in at 8.30 cos she thot our lesson commences at 8.40.. even letchmi reminded her abt the lesson but she was persistent that our lesson was on the second period.. phew, so lucky me, who dint manage to finish the compre get to pass this time arnd and not face the music! lol.. 10min english period.. shuang man... oh ya, i had 24/30 for compo (commonwealth) and i beat sua yu and jeffrey.. cos my score is second highest in class, yishan has 26/30. proz.

double chem was also alrite, except liewjy is kinda pissed cos he couldnt get the attn of the class.. no matter how i try to look at him, he seems more of a senior than a teacher lehz.. no cannot give that much respect.. then he toked to us abt life in hostel.. got so many grnd rules, haven go there already sian liao.. haha...

double maths was also taught by a lil pms leetk, who spent abt 10mins of the period to find a specific file for the parabolas thing while we just chatted our way thru.. i'm proud abt my results for the maths test lor... 3rd in class, after those that have full marks, i'm behind lerong (38/40) with a score of 36.. qiang ehz.. =P

chinese was ok, we revisited those poems and learnt a new one.. phew, luckily we dint have to (calvin and I) present abt our 3 kingdoms ppt and all.. hengz..

then IH E was kinda ok too.. except i'm sorta scared of xiongfan now.. cos he's like staring at jeffrey as if he was secretly admiring him.. serious! it's damn scary, cos when after jeffrey makes a lame comment or a funny joke, then xiongfan will turn arnd and stare at jeffrey lovingly for like 15 odd seconds then turn back to face gwee.. then it happened more than thrice lor.. wonder if jeffrey realises it, or act as if he doesn't know abt it.. cos its kinda scary in my opinion tho... and gwee gave us EIGHT wksheets for IH core.. dang, no fair! XP

then after that i had lunch with the saxa pple at poolside cafe then go for band.. very throw face cos lim asked me to play quavers and hold the b flat note... then cos i am adapting to my new playing technique so the tone damn er.. and kun won's tone is magical lor.. it's damn stable and nice... but i haf third lang! sigh.. just when i am starting to enjoy band.. blearghz... but kun won is damn funny lar, we toked abt sex, blowjobs, and other disgusting stuff and all.. haha e.g. how the one receiving the blowjob is very risky cos the girl/boi can just bite its inny weeny and how unassuming the one receiving the blowjob is cos its like normal f***ing except the hole is more open and all.. whole shit load of crap, but douglas, u noe wat to do now? dearie? =D

third lang was ok.. toked to ben chow on the bus ride cos he waited for me.. sigh, we haven't decorated 3N's class notice board!!! sheesh.. must be more enthusaistic cos i am in charge of the board.. manz.. then third lang was quite alrite lar.. nth much happening but learn quite alot.. haha lue sensei rox more than suzuki by (a+b)^2!!!

so now i am at home, praying that yam huo calls me and i'm going to watch white chicks again before desperate hsewives and still wait for that call.. hope the teacher arent tricking us into bliving that its tmr then suddenly tell us we have to go to school and catch us off guard cos i haven finish and dun intend to do my compre.. =P

signing off,
KX



1/31/2005 07:47:00 PM

Saturday, January 29, 2005
Yay! finally registered for MRP! Lol... yufeng and his ' shaolin' moves... =)

Seriously, I dunno why I am blogging again but I am just kinda happy that I am working wif jy and marcus for VBC.. tink it might a good opportunity to be closer with them lorz... hope they dun get annoyed by me tho..

Oh ya and I haf my douglas dear's email alreadi!! yay! haha.. he ran away on friday when kian hong shouted my name lorz.. wad a scaredy cat.. nvr knew lil old me could be so scary.. =P

And my aunt gave me this nice kewl poser black baby G watch.. damn nice... haha jealous?

And LIME MAG ROCKS! I can like read and read thrice over and over again.. Damn nice.. teens mag on the other hand, suck like shit..

Umm.. I watched 13 going on 30 and white chicks on DVD today.. Hilarious.. haha... the tiffany and brittany wilson reminded me of nicole richie and paris hilton frm a simple life 2.. lol..

sheesh, i haven watched last wk's charmed! hmm. shld i watch it? bleargh see first..

k, no more things to say le.. blah blah. just finished 50mg of gua1 zi3... lips are feeling heaty now.. >.< (wat does this expression mean anyway? jianyi and marcus keep using it but i dun get wat they mean. >.<)

signing off,
KX

1/29/2005 10:06:00 PM

Hmm.. I haven't registered for SMRP nor MRP.. How? But I am damn happy that I am working with yufeng cos firstly he's cute and secondly he's smart and thirdly he is hardworking so yea, zai manz...

Then doing BSP project with sua yu.. He's smart and hardworking and he's damn funny and a nice person to work with i think.. Too bad he can't go to China in June cos he has SLC, which means alot to him..

And also, I just registered for the Virtual Business Challenge thing with Jy, marc ho and ashley.. Will be damn fun.. Think our opponents are lerong's team, ben/calvin's team and weimin's team.. haha... so excited abt it.. =P

Oh ya, i just set this comments thingo thanks to melvin.. Pls help by leaving comments on it.. It's like a tagboard where u can write longer comments. The tagboard is for short comments.. =P kinda redundant but hey! its fun! =D

Signing off,
KX

1/29/2005 08:05:00 PM

Yesterday was kinda a bad day for me (as well as for all of us)..

Band was ok and so... Cos still haven really gotten over the loss at debate but somehow my spirit lighted a lil.. Can't play that top C anymore.. bleargh...

The first 2 periods were boring.. English ended us with a compre paper as hmwk.. Hate compres.. Always below 30, no kick at all.. =P

PEPEPEPEPE!!! it was damn fun and ego lorz.. cos we had to try pull ups and I did 3! (almost managed to do 4) but my chin thingo, ya u geddit.. pass can liao.. no fair, cute cute esmond and bad bad ben chow did 4 lorz.. the trackers n gym n canoeists sure did abt like 10++, but for someone that doesn't exercise like me, 3 is indeed an achievement.. oh ya, i did the same as kaijun and jeremy!!! cos the mr. toh (the new PE teacher) didnt count their pull ups cos their chin didnt touch the bar.. booz

Then pple like jianyi, sua, shengwei, kun won, xinhui... all can't do... make me egoego.. but seriously, its becos of my ratio is perfect for such chin ups test - Relatively strong arms VS light body... Pple like kaimeng and jeffrey have to die die train like mad, yong lin oso... But pple like sua, kunwon and jianyi just have to work on their arms then can liao.. kun won has a damn light body (he's seriously underweight) so just train lor.. i dint train but i just pulled up lehz.. surprising..

then after that we have the 4 sets thingo, abt push ups, sit ups, squat thrust and the superman thingy.. damn tiring after the 1st set... haha but must train abs wat... i haf 12 packs now already kayz.. =D

then recess, borrowed money frm sua cos i left my wallet in class to buy the shitty noodles.. ended up having one spoonful of the noodle then throw away le... sigh, i was abt to throw the whole bowlful of noodles at the collection area, but the shitty uncle was there to clear the (little amt of) bowls they have! then i was playing hide and seek with him until when he wasnt looking, i poured my noodle into his collection bin.. bleargh

then maths was pathetic, played this game thing that xinhui blew our game cards off with his fart (running wind).. the american? visitors were like damn bored and all.. and dere's one that looked like a pevert.. lol.. the man with weird specs.. yay, i got my graphic calculator liao...haha, yingjie's mum wrote the cheque to 'Learning advantage Pte Ltd' when its supposed to be 'learning interactive pte ltd'.. lol hilarious

History was fun la.. had this quiz thing that no one got any correct.. haha was laffing at kaimeng's answers when ms ong flashed it on the screen cos i was the one that crapped out the answers.. e.g. How did the russians vent their anger on bloody sunday? They pulled down the Tsar statue. Haha.. cos i rmbed the video and i wrote it down and kaimeng copied.. lol u dun geddit? nvm

CL was ok la.. toking abt how we lost and all.. yang told us that we were good.. and he also saw me asking qn.s and all, and he was quite impressed with me and us... Then he said that the 3K pple dint expect us to be that strong larz.. Taiboon told me that jin di shook his hand and said, 'wo men qing di le. (we underestimated our enemy.)' Signs of arrogance? mayb but nvm, i tink jin di is a friendly person still cos he gave hongchen a pat after 3K came out from their history lesson in our classrm.

yang also said that just bcos jin di is a sensational speaker, that's why they won.. the other 3 zuo bos dint really contribute so its kinda sad too la.. one good speaker = win.. this is team debate not individual debate lehz.. and he also said that its bcos jin di is so godamn impressive, thats why there's no way that yang dan qing could let them lose.. right.. biased eh? but nvrmind larz, have to rush for my presentation on 3 kingdoms on monday... sighz.. stressed..

band was nowhere better.. terence and kunwon were freaking bored for like 4hrs cos they noe the songs by heart.. and they had to listen to ivan train the sec 2s and i.. yay, i can play f and a flat and top c with more ease now (as in by one note) but in the songs, i cant really do that.. sighz.. got improvement larz but still not good enough... oh ya, and there's this stream at the concourse rite? the eupho section had flower racing where we took the pink flowers and put it at the start of the streams and the first one to be in the pond with all the fishes first wins... damn fun..

then after went home for dinner.. drank the worst soup of my life.. corn soup with sour apple.. eww... mom's addition of the sour apple sucked man... bleargh...

signing off,
KX

1/29/2005 01:07:00 PM

Thursday, January 27, 2005
Yay! today's quite a gd day i guess... everything is going fine for me supposedly...


its like i started with band today and i did sth miraculous to me.. yupz, as u all noe, my highest straining note is like concert high f rite? i pitched a concert top b flat and concert high a flat today more tha one time without the straining tone and ivan said that i had nice tone for those high notes. i was like jumping wif joy and all.. hope i can do it all the time... nvrtheless, i still cant pitch my high f that nicely.. =)

then after that we had our maths test.. kinda easy i guess.. cos the partial fraction was damn freaking easy and its worth 6 marks.. and there's no quadratic at all? wasted my time doing all those quad fractions.. and mr. lee got mistake in his question and all.. bleargh.. some are hard but most are chicken feet.. and got 2 4m bonuses... did the first bonus then got 0 so i cancel the whole thing lorz.. then turned out that it was da correct answer.. boo.. the second bonus was chicken feet too.. aim for 35/40 can liao larz...

then after that we had english and laurang was such a joke (again).. except this time i was the mastermind that made her a joke... her eng period was supposed to end at 10.00 am, so at 9.50am, she asked me, "Khee xuan, has the bell rang?" then i nodded my head and she immediately said "goodbye class" in her usual fashion.. budden some classmates were like 'no!' and all so i had to tell her the truth.. then 3 mins before 10.00am, i shouted to her, "Mrs. ng, the bell has rang." then she did the same thing again.. this time, no one said anything and had this evil grin and after she released us, and as she was walking along the corridor, the bell rang and she told me off lorz.. e.g. 'aiyo, khee xuan, lied to me thrice today (actually twice but i really dunno how she count) hor... i'll mark your commonwealth essay when i am very tired and in a foul mood.. so bad.. blah blah' then she walked off.. lol

then after recess, physics was shit again.. i seriously haf no idea wats going with light.. we had this wksheet thing today, which tanhc wanted us to complete it in that period.. but in the end only 3 handed in cos it was too hard.. as in i am stumped by ray diagrams, drawing light rays, how many images will be formed in the mirrors.. then i kana PMS lor, so when kaimeng took my wksheet i promptly shouted at him budden i apologised later larz... wat a bad subject physics is under tanhc... boo

rallying was ok la.. esmond is sooooo cute!!!! haha.. he is like my best friend in p4/5/6 and we were always of the same height but now he's 10cm shorter yet tons more powerful in the council than me... cos i aint in the council.. =P haha but he's still that energetic person lorz.. so adorably cute.. XD but no one really stand out frm their speeches and the debate and all.. haha but i tink jy and sua did kinda well.. lol... kudos to u guys!

then after that was double bio where the 3M/N/O debaters when to the library to discuss abt the debate n shared notes... haha kinda fun la.. and sun peng was damn act cute but real funny... haha.. sua really hates him... and siyuan is damn funny larz... and kaimeng is totally hilarious so the double bio wasnt boring for once.. haha

lunch - i only had 2 nuggets and one pc of chicken.. not hungry.. then after went for more debate exercise, thruout yang's double chinese period oso... then the rest studied a new poem and abt the 3 kingdoms lor... so disadvantaged, cos i missed such an impt lesson... hmph

so the time has come.. we went to the classrm for more practice until 4pm when it started... yang dan qing was our teacher judge.. haha i am freaking nervous la.. cos firstly there r prcs in 3k's team.. secondly, pple like weimin, jy, melwan, sua, yonglin, lerong, yam... ... were watching us so got more pressure.. haha

but when i spoke, i sorta stammer upon the words alil or so.. i was damn unconfident and pessimistic... then during the 2 min interval, benchow gave us lotsa ideas and all.. but we dint use it! sheesh.. i was damn disappt with myself lorz... haiz

so after that painful and frightening 45mins.. yang dan qing began to comment abt the debate.. she said that the jin di was great (i agree and give him total respect cos he was sensational) and of cos he won the best debater title.. but the thing that made me happy was that she said that there were 2 pple frm our team that were good... then i looked to my left at taiboon cos he did a good verbal sparing with jin di and guan hui for making such an excellent conclusion.. but no, she said my name and i was shocked.. she said that my pronunciation and tone and everything was good and that i sounded confidence and clear.. phew... i thot i was bad, maybe i wasn't that bad after all.. haha

but of cos, we lost in the end.. but pple like jin di, the judge haoqi, jinhao... all said that i did a good job, cos i articulated real well despite the fact that i din really speak alot lorz.. haha nvrtheless, i am a lil weeny bit disappt and all.. but anywayz, 3M won so yay! ispark isnt that bai lei lor.. and sean's debate team won too! congrats.. haha i called douglas dear again... *love is in the air~*

then after that go band to fei4 for 45 mins and had dinner (mcchicken burger only) with jianyi, jeffrey and sua lorz... cos melwan and marcho went off and we were basically laffing and all.. but i din really joined in their laffter that much lor.. not tt bcos we lost in debate, but bcos i find some of the jokes (i make and the games they play) really nonsensical and childish.. haha but we still had fun so yay! and jianyi and jeffrey were singing (and trying to be like fake christies) lol the pple at the bus stop were staring at them lor.. so paiseh..

lol, got history wksheet to do.. sighz.. will do while watching AI in 5 mins time.. gotta invite jun ting into 3N's egrps.. so cya!

Signing off,
KX

1/27/2005 09:16:00 PM

Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Yet another day... hmm.. i seriously shld stop harping on the fact that my best friend has sth fishy/diff/interesting going on with his new found life in 3M. wishya da best dude.. dun b angry abt the prev post cos i am insensitive man..

i am now so freaking stressed.. seriously.. cos i haven studied for my maths test. n i am the 2nd member of iSpark sec 3 BSP class tmr.. big responsibility.. damn tired and exhausted..

maths test! surds, partial fractions, algebra, quad equations... ... i am so tired but yet i haf to study.. its like last minute revision, and it aint really going to help alot but heck...

debate is even worse.. i haf to respond 3 times faster than i usually am and i hafta generate 3 double sided question which my language capabilities disallow me to do so.. we r against the 3K prcs. we haf no hope.

luckily, the 2nd member of their debate team is seemingly the worst and therefore, i hafto attack them until like mad... pour everything i haf at him and them and try not to be awed by the speaking abilities of those freaking prcs... we shant lose (that badly)!

sighz.. and i realise that i am segregating myself from the company i used to be with... it's like after recess, taiboon and i were like talking abt jianyi and u-noe-who, then the devil appeared, with weishi and jeffrey walking along with them, so we were like slowing down and they were like walking faster to avoid us... then at the auditorium, the clique sat together and i segregated myself again and sat with taiboon and jianyang instead.. its like, i am trying to get away from them and all.. but somehow, i still enjoy sua's company in class cos i won't be that bored and he makes the lessons fun...

oh ya, and on our way to the audi, taiboon said to me that, 'aiya, its ok to let jianyi go with him la.. it's better to see them happily together lor.. at least its better to see jeffrey happy with anyone else...' (tb said that not me kayz!)

but anywayz, i am going to (try to) wash my hands off this matter... hm.. shall record charmed and amazing race today so that i can put all my attention on mugging maths and prep for debate.. wish me luck..

signing off,
KX

1/26/2005 07:49:00 PM

Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Gosh.. I am seriously apalled after reading jianyi's blog.. seriously... ok.. and today is a tiring day and i still haf lot of freaking hmwk uncompleted..

ya, this all sounds like real familiar and all.. like an outpour of all of jianyi's hidden thoughts and all.. scary and powerful.. will ask for his permission to link my blog but i guess he most prob won't agree.. nvrmindz...

today is real mess.. double eng was screwed with laurang sending half the class sleeping and the others half sleeping... u get wat i mean dun ya?

then chem was alrite.. more lame stuff by ji-an look-a-like (rmb doraemon?) but it was kinda understandable so not that sleepy... Recess was okayz... Kinda awkward cos yufeng, ah zek, kaawy and I were sitting on the same table so nth to tok abt...

Then we had double chinese.. quite fun... half the lesson was watching the pros debate frm diff universities.. they are seriously damn zai.. then after yangwz finally chose the elitest 4 frm the elite 8.. they are suayu, ME!!!!, guanhui and taiboon.. but in the end, he replaced sua with hongchen cos sua is overcommitted.. goodness, i am the 2nd debater and the debate falls 2 days later! on the same day as the maths test! against 3K!
bleargh.. but we wun lost that bad i hope.. =P prays hard... (p.s: yonglin is like damn bu shuang cos he kept assuming that he will be in it but yangwz disappted him.. booyaz..)

Physics abt light was crappy for me cos i dint understand a thing abt light and watever tanhc's toking abt.. sigh, wun fail physics la.. but wun pass wif flying colours as well.. my highest MSG ever expected this term.. =(

IHC was ok la.. basically we had discussion and all... nth much... library session was boring oso.. zhuo boh...

then maths and chem were ok oso lar.. basically nth much to tok abt today..


oh ya, after class, weishi, jeffrey, jianyi and I walked to the bus stop and i just keep reflecting how i am kinda segregating myself frm the 'clique' cos in frnt of other pple, i am like an immature child but when with this company, i am like not as immature as them.. how do i put it.. umm, its like yesterday, jianyi and darrell were like acting female sopranoes singing like christie in phantom when they noe they haf airy tones for falsetto cos jianyi is a bass and darrell is halfway breaking thru his voice? godamnit, twas damn freaking irritating lor.. den jianyi and jeffrey were acting as pro sopranoes again before the play at victoria yesterday.. sighz..

then today, on the journey to the bus stop, they were like, "Khee Xuan, u hafta add a 'so' in every sentence or else u cant tok with us." wow.. thats really matured and fun thing to do! gosh.. isit me or isit wateverz?

sheesh, responsible and hardworking 3N secretary just uploaded the EMR and updated contact list on the egrps.. Kudos to him!...

oH ya, abt the election if we were to make 5 choices, i'd pick those below:

1. Sua yu
2. JY!
3. Yamhuo!
4. Tingwei
5. Ben Chow!

k, dun ask me why.. its so duh rite?

signing off,
KX



1/25/2005 08:08:00 PM

Monday, January 24, 2005
Bleargh.. Was meant to do my geog wksheet but heck.. more tempted to blog cos this monday is a kewl monday!


Haha.. english was ok la.. except for the fact that I had 29/50 for my compre.. :'( even sun peng beat me lor! he had 32! sua had 39/50! zai.. or isit that i am zibei?

lol.. nvrmind abt that, after recess was double chem.. quite ok, not as boring as last week's lesson cos the lab chairs are more stable today.. so one thumb in the middle...

maths was alrite.. i get wat leetk mean in the partial fractions thingo.. sua dusen.. boo.. but its very paper wasting.. one qn = one page of foolscalp so very inapplicable in real life and waste resources... two thumbs down.. oh ya, leetk sounded and looked as if he was going to PMS like mok shui ling (how to spell that?) cos he's like damn bu shuang and our test is like 3 days later.. so i must MUG!!!

hmm? how's my new blogskin btw? originally wanted to put marcus' cute baby breakway pic but the colour dusen match.. but his design is damn nice.. can print and put as inspirational cards and sell for 50 cents each..

bleargh.. chinese was okkay.. compre lorz.. but toked a lot to ben chow haha.. so not dat sian after all... then geog elective was ok too.. did pair work with sun peng honey!!! lol me despo liao... haha but its fine la.. he's a good partner i tink... =P wateverz

then after that i pon band cos i already had my sec 3 auditions so i went to eat wif darrell, sua, jeffrey n jianyi at SIM.. bought their signature laksa at 2 bucks.. damn worth it lorz.. alot of noodles.. eat until damn bloated and all... but twas real worth its price..

den after that jeffrey, jianyi and I took bus to victoria theatre and stone there until 4.25 before we were admitted into the theatre.. just when we thot my ticket row 'S' was frnt row, i was dead wrong, it was the last row.. dang! but 3 mins before the show commences, yangwz led the 3N-ers to 5 rows frm the stage so we have pwange and premium seats.. groolz..

the show was basically damn nice, except for the fact that the atmosphere and the emotions were freaking ruined by those freaking immature and shitty assholes mainstreamers and iSpark juniors.. they laffed when the evil student attempted rape at lala (btw, lala's chio!) and all other not funny parts.. can't these pple haf a sense of awareness ( i noe this sounds ironic cos even i dun haf concert/theatre ettiquette [how u spell tt?] but at least i maintained silence thruout the whole play... but the play's good no less...

den after that, the VE clique joined the 3O clique as we had dinner at funan's KFC with marcus, hurwitz, jy, yam, jeffrey, jianyi and I... haha, bascially while walking to funan, yam and jy were teaching me how to be a poser like tucking out my shirt, lowering my bag blah blah.. haha they are so lame and cute... =D kawai-ne!!!

then after that jianyi let out a shrill of delight cos other than the expected to pass the auditions jonathan kee, the obnoxious, arrogant sec 4 in VE, jianyi was the only one that made it to sing for hwa chong choir.. yippee!! that means (1) he's the best among the auditioned ones (2) he's proven himself to be a level up when compared to other ve members... so jianyi, hey hey hey! he made it thru the rain and kept himself protected!!! haha..

hmm.. dinner at KFC was the worst idea made today.. cos i bought popcorn chicken meal and ended up eating half of the popcorn chicken and gave away 3/4 of my cheese fries to marcus n hurwitz.. hurwitz ate abt twice of my dinner cos he's 6cm taller than me.. nvrtheless, throut the dinner, it was damn fun act-cuting blah and toking to jy and yam, cos yam was trying to brainwash jianyi and i that the play was damn zai and all.. haha and lala was chio and other lame stuff... haha.. quite fun eating with them...

then after that take MRT with marcus and jianyi on the same train and we toked a lil.. marcus is still marcus la, his cheery and funny self came out liao.. haha so today was basically a fun day for me!!!!

oh ya, i finished chinese compre and maths in 20 mins and now i am going to watch DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES!!! yay!

signing off,
KX

1/24/2005 09:45:00 PM

Sunday, January 23, 2005
yay! i finally approached yufeng as my MRP partner and he agrees to pair up with me! yahoo! kayz.. now haf problem finding research topics for BOTH MRP and SMRP.. Garz...

I am so enthu abt tmr cos during chinese lesson got more act cute debate and after tt go band halfway then travel to Victoria concert hall to watch the taboo games of youth.. sua said that it was astounding.. lol.. must watch!

haha, i just came back frm plaza sing an hr ago... sigh, dint meet anyone i noe.. nvrtheless, i snooped off to buy my handphone pouch without letting my mom noe.. 3.90, quite nice.. velvety black... groolz...

and then i watched apprentice lorz.. ice cream making.. haha bimbotic ivanah and her asian-american looks - 'dun even get me started!' lol...

oh ya, i talked to rachel today (yar, ben's and jy's nyps good fren) haha, only met her twice tho.. but she noes soo much abt me!!! cos she reads my blog, den ben told her lotsa stuff and flinging pics of me and 'squealing' how cute i am... bleargh.. and she saw me sing on humans nite last yr!! godgodgod! i was like damn ashamed.. but nvrtheless, i saw myself on the clip my father recorded.. i actually sang an astonishing high E! sigh, i could like only strain to reach high B now.. sighz... but at least now my range is perfect for the school song and the conduct song so i lose some, and gain some aint it...

sigh, i hope tmr will be a better day.. its already the 4th week and i haf a maths test on thurs! must consolidate my notes and revise soon! bleargh bleargh... oh ya, and marcus is still kinda close to me i tink... we toked quite a bit a few nites b4.. haha the online marcus is back! =D

signing off,
KX

1/23/2005 11:25:00 PM

Sighz yet another post frm me... Cos i am freaking sian.. I've finished all my hmwk (except the geog wksheet which no one could find those relevant website gwee posted)...

Anywayz, I am kinda troubled by MRP now.. Cos registration ends in like a week's time? And i haven found my partner yet.. While actually I did la, but weishi koped frm me before I could say anything lorz... It was like this, I actually asked jianyi first, then mins after i approached jianyi (which was a week ago), yam huo approached me on MSN, so I dint really give him an answer yet... It was until last nite, when I asked jianyi again (cos I can't merge my BSP project with MRP) and he asked me to do with yam cos he's doing lit slant and he noes i can't do lit... So i don't really mind cos it's hard to communicate when jianyi's not in my class... Then when yam huo asked me again, I said yes budden he told me that weishi's asking him to be his MRP partner too... So thruout the half and hr, this triangle relationship as described by yam just kept going on without any direction.. In the end, i just stepped out and asked yam huo to do with weishi and I find someone else den.. Hmm.. So now i am considering yufeng, cos he works, secondly he is smart and thirdly he is 1 cm taller than me...

Sighz, watever larz... Must hush hush soon.. Finding my possible bio projects for SMRP now... Mum's back - can't let her catch me playing com... byeeez...

Signing off,
KX

1/23/2005 01:47:00 PM

Friday, January 21, 2005
Oh ok, in my prev post I said that I haf alot to write but I dint managed to cos I was too lazy. So read Sua's blog for the 'Sun Peng VS Tan Hock Chye in Physics Lab story' and the 'Hong Chen's public apology' story... @ www.desolatewallaby.blogspot.com....

I also have my 2 cents worth with regard to the Hong Chen's shoplifting thingo mungo lar.. We actually knew that since the 1st/2nd week of school lor.. Its like after afternn lessons, he asked all 3Ners to be in the class and he announced his shoplifting crime and told us to be mentally prepared cos he sorta 'disgraced' 3N and he apologised to us... No one was upset abt it, for some reason, its like kinda expected frm rich man's children or so... stealing for the thrill and all.. watever...

So it happened on the assembly 2 days ago... After the first 15 mins, Hon Chiew Weng invited him (and forgot his name so he had to take the slip of paper frm his pocket out) and Hong chen did his thang man.. He publicly announced abt his shoplifting thing and then Hon mentioned that this offence was going to get him to be expelled from the school cos he tarnished our school reputation.. But the decision lies in the hands of our cohorts.. So people came streaming to the mic (mostly iSparkians) to convince the crowd to let him off and all and to give him a second chance.. Jianyang even had some sort of verbal argument with Hon and allsorts in a politely manner that is...

Then Hon was like saying, "If everyone takes the second chance for granted, I have 2000 students in the school, statiscally, does that mean I have to handle 6 cases of shoplifting everyday?" What f****** shitty example is that? Is he turning senile or being the old fogey inside him? He's like saying that everyone WILL steal just bcos of the offence Hong Chen did.. At carrefour... On XMAS... But honestly, Hong Chen, why would he steal from a megastore like Carreffour? You could steal frm some Econ Minimart and all and have lesser chance to get spotted and arrested.. Dude, i always thot u were smart!

But Hon was like being the bad guy and all.. And he seriously was sticking onto the 6 cases a day e.g to rebuke everyone's plead... But in the end, everyone pardoned hong chen thru the vote and yay! so he's still in our class! Basically, I think Hong Chen is a damn kewl guy lor, very sporty and kinda qiang in studies (for Chinese at least)... He shld be the mascot for iSpark saying that iSparkians are much braver than those mainstreamers, and that we r much kewler and smarter than any of em (or most of em)... And not using mascots like me to show the iSparkians are sissy, singing freaks, or using Ah Zek as our mascots to show the nerdiness of iSparkians.. Sad la...

And just when we thot that everything was over, it wasn't... Yesterday, during Onghy's class, Jeffrey Lim and Tan tiong beng came to our class and gave hong chen 2 canes on his butt/thigh wherever.. Hongchen's expression was like still neutral after the caning.. He said it dint really hurt except for the leg part, woah ji brave... =P.. Than onghy was like damn lost cos she had no idea abt his crime and just stood there dumbfounded during the caning lol...

Aiya, i originally wanted to talk abt band and the shitty act-cute chinese debate i was in during chinese yesterday, but heck, i'd rather go for lunch now... :D

Signing off,
KX

1/21/2005 01:42:00 PM

Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Yay! Blog! I haf so much to say but too sian to blog it out...

*breathes in deeply* Ok, here goes:


TAROT READING IS A HALF TRUTH DIVINATION!(bolded words are keyphrases)

Jianyi divinated for me yesterday and Ting Wei and Sua and Darrell.. Sua and Darrell said that its accurate and true. Ting wei was devastated... Sigh, for me I asked a few qn.s abt my current life (VE, Band and 3rd lang and how they relate to me) and my friendships with those people i call friends...

Divination results:

VE - I'm too egocentric abt my singing. Jianyi's advice for me is to stop thinking that I sing really well... (er.. ok, so what else can i be good at and not have that lacking self confidence that everyone has been telling me that i have?)... Hmm.. but it's true la, mayb i am seriously too boastful abt my 'powerful'/'wide range' singing.. *notice the inverted commas*... But nvm, i still believe i sing better than the majority and i am definitely not tone deaf/ i can project my voice / my tone and inunciation is accurate... = zai!

Band - This is kinda false as well.. cos jianyi actually told me not to rush on my advancement in band playing.. that's like shit, cos SYF is arnd the corner and I aint supposed to improve to my fullest that i can? sighz.. nvrtheless, i dun believe the above 2 readings cos they r false (as i believe)...

3rd Lang - This is kinda accurate for a change. The cards says that i am blowing this 'quit 3rd lang' issue to big already.. when i can actually cope with the presence of it so i better shut my mouth abt quitting third lang and concentrate on my studies!!

I shall keep the friends part disclosed between Jianyi and I cos I am too sian to type everything out.. too long cos there r 3 cards for each divination and i asked abt a few frenz... =P

Oh ya, everything's been going fine nowadays i think, its like the birth rate at the industrialised country, everything is in the midst of settling down and all... (i hope n guess n think)

However there are a few impt stuff that people might wanna noe:

1. I'm doing SMRP with Sheng Wei and Jeffrey.. Happy? Unlucky? Bad? I have to do all the work? I seriously do not know.. Sighz? Yay? Whatever~

2. I saw sean at the canteen today, with Douglas behind him. Hmm, my new yr's resolution, to irriate douglas dear and consistently say hi to him when i see him (and when sean's present of cos).. Ok this dear and honey stuff is sth stupid between sean and i acting gay in band (not wif each other, but to boast how many bfs we have)... we originally ;shared' chin seng, but at the arrival of the yellow cheena man, i've decided to let chin seng off and hook 'him' instead.. as sua yu suggested, i was f***** him at the library wat... lol.. a whole lump of nonsense... boo-hoo... DOUGLAS DEAR!! =P

3. Yong Chee Foo tested my range (non falsetto) that is today at VE. while i was singing (effortlessly), jeffrey was shouting words sarcastically like 'DIVA' or watever.. but nvm, i'm kinda happy cos i have a range of abt 2 octaves! its actually 2 octaves minus 1 semitone.. that's like kinda qiang for me lor.. damn happy.. for low C to high B! yay!

From my extensive research, here's the answer to the average range of singers:

"Excluding falsetto...The average untrained singer may have an octave or less, perhaps an octave and a half (strained). Professional singers (with extensive training) have a practice singing range of about 3 octaves (unstrained), and a performance range of 1.5-2 octaves. It is EXTREMELY rare, but there are singers with 4 octave practice ranges, these tend to be female singers as their vocal cords are lighter than males."

Yay! So i hafta believe i am 'above' average despite the fact i strained a lil bit.. OK, so i am average la... yay! i aint that bad after all.. phew

ok thats all, its charmed time anywayz, i feel damn ego.. bleargh..

Signing off,
KX




1/19/2005 07:51:00 PM

Monday, January 17, 2005
Monday again. Bleargh. I hate my life (like always)...


Here are the reasons why I hate Mondays:

1. Hate band playing with the JC pple streaming in slowly.. Damn sian...

2. Laurang's today's first lesson. Bad start of the day. She's like styling like always (phark) and she still calls yingjie 'ying jia - as in weiner', weiquan 'weiqiang', siheng ' sheheng'... oh ya and she caught ah zek 'sniffing' eraser, which actually is his metholathum thingy.. lol she was like, 'yong lin, stop playing with ur eraser. oh glue stick...' -.-"

3. Recess! No queues at all.. Mmm.. Nice... Originally sat with Yingjie and Kaimeng. co.. Then see kah wee sitting on another table kana segregated so I joined him, then jeffrey, yamhuo and sun peng came and joined. After that, everyone from yingjie's table 'emigrated' to kah wee's table. Haha, dunno why...

4. Double Chem was shit... Other than Mr. Liew's shitty magic by putting salt into flames, turning them into colours like apple green, lily lee li li lilac, strawberry shortcake red and orange orange... That was for like 5 minutes teacher demo and for the remaining hr or so, we were all like stoning at the benches to listen to his ppt. Damn sian cos suddenly an atom is 3D.. Wat shit, then got subshell, orbitals.. 1p,2s... watever~ then the science lab chairs at like damn hard to sit on so cant concentrate lorz.. Garz... First bad liewyj lesson...

5. Double Maths.. Sighz, i did the wrong maths wksheet, shld've done indices ws, not surds one.. so leetk kinda bu shuang.. then sua yu was like saying that he finished all his work and was getting presumptous... but i showed him off by reminding him the fact that i beat him in the 2.4km run when he was still laffing that i will fail before the run.. Then he jealous/zibei said that i run one round less... Sore loser... 'L' for love! lol.. anywayz, thruout the lesson we were laffing at some cantonese words and some1 frm 4K called DONGDONG!!! lol... Budden Leetk shouted for the first time in class ever.. his PMS level is arriving.. :D

6. Chinese was boring also... We mainly discussed abt the debate topic and taiboon and some others were like just contributing.. Sian.. 40 mins went past liddat...

7. Geog was kinda ok, but still very sian cos we were still toking abt pop pyramids and came out with some lame stuff... whatver la...

8. then it was band.. had lunch with kun won b4 that, playing staring games with junjie and yikun and ernest (so cute!!!!) lol den auditions started.. sigh, i am like the 4th and when it was my turn, i was nervous lor.. i sucked alot (expected) cos my notes are always flat cos i dun haf enuff breath support.. :( Then my rhythm was ok i tink, but my breath support and technique wrong like shit.. lim not happy.. i sad... Boo...

9. take bus to third lang. jap damn sian.. very tired and dry... automatic and physical form.. WHATEVER!!

10. i got my maths hw to finish but i am frekking tired so i gotta go..

Signing off,
KX

1/17/2005 08:40:00 PM

Saturday, January 15, 2005
Ok this is kinda a tired day for me (friday) that is... Firstly, the lessons were boring and all... Shan't tok much abt them cos this going to be kinda short post.. And since he willingly 'advertised' my blog for him to show his so-called 'attn seeking acts', I shall play a good sport and give him back da HOT STUFF!!

But nvrtheless, let me blog abt my more impt stuff first, yes, that means abt the boring lessons...

Geog - Okayz.. Nth much to do really....

EF - Laurang was still being stylish so it WAS still damn stupid.... Hate el lessons

PE!!! - Yay! Even though i sprained my ankle on monday and worsen it 2 days ago by playing basketball, I still went for the run.. And guess wat? I beat MelWan, Jianyi and Sua Yu at the final 100m sprint! yay! its like my time imprved from 14.15 to 13.00!! a drastic imprvement and my best time yet! yay!

P.S: Oh ya, he was like saying out loud to everyone that he 'qi4 quan2' (give up) for the run cos he knows he definitely would not make it den pple that heard him laughed.. wow... kewl man, 1st time i see some1 so happy that he's physically challenged dude...

DOUBLE MATHS - first period was boring, but 2nd period, leetk brought us to the poolside cafe to haf fries/chips/lollipops... while doing our maths wksheet... damn kewl cos he noes that we are all stressedup and tired..lol

IH CORE - watched video abt plate tectonics.. kinda 'duh' stuff i tink, but got wksheets to do.. sian, must dig up all my sec 1 stuff... :'(

CHINESE! - aiyo, yangwz asked yonglin to read out some passage from the chinese newsweek and he sent half the class sleeping or turned off.. then he wanted guanhui, sleeping taiboon and I to host the discussion for the class... it was kinda cool actually, cos we dint really needed to host the discussion... comments frm hongchen, yufeng, yamhuo and sua came pouring in and I just kept nodding my head... haha, the proudest thing I did during the discussion was the conclusion when I just concluded what everyone said and taiboon added something, guan hui added something then suddenly there was a pause of silence... then i just murmured 'xie4 xie4' and we walked off....

P.S: thruout the discussion, he (yes its him again), hid under the table for no apparent reason until yangwz spotted him and everyone was like laffing at him cos its real amusing to see a relatively big person hiding underneath a small table and acting isolated and all.... haha.. attn seeking? bleargh.. enuff is enuff man.. u got every1's attn, wat more do u wan? can't believe some pple is so despo to hide under tables or do other wacky stuff u noe? still say that he isnt attn seeking? think again...

Ok, so i am an evil bastard that antagonizes him. So? As laurang said, "humour is when one exaggerates a fact to make people laugh". In the case, I dint even have to exaggerate abt what he does...

Signing off,
KX

1/15/2005 11:44:00 AM

Thursday, January 13, 2005
Today was yet another ok day... Nothing much really.. More of observing stuff that always prove my thoughts right...

Band was ok today again, practiced my scales and all... Lalala~... Read the times mag for like 10mins before double Maths lesson, which was totally uninteresting and nothing to do-ish.. Went through worksheets and all.. More homework!

English was kinda stylish.. yupz, u guessed it, we are still toking abt style.. and that stupid worksheet and notes! sianz... nothing much to talk about anyway... u cant apply style in ur exam compo anyway...

Recess was alrite basically, its just this thang abt marcus.. he daos every non-3O er... mayb even me.. but not that like to the extent of others though... let me illustrate: today, jianyi, jeffrey, sua and I were sitting on the same table cos the other table is filled wif the ahzek/let's math clique and the canoeing/3O clique... so marcus had to sit wif us... and when jeffrey said hi to marcus, he dint even react at all! he's like (a) dint hear him or (b) dao him cos there wasnt any expression to show he has the intention to hi back or even smile back at jeffrey..but i am sure the answer is (b) cos the exact same thing happened at lunch/recess yesterday too with jeffrey hi-ing at marcus...

It's like marcus don't really socialise with us anymore, sadly that is.. he is/was such a wonderful friend to me, and made me happy for the past 6 mths with his company... sighz.. people DO change.. nvrtheless, i tink he also sorta treasure the last 6 mths when we were closer as friends, so he dint dao me that much.. let me illustrate (again): rmb the yellow plate roti prata VS blue plate chicken rice war yesterday? ya, my chicken rice sucked so much that i asked jianyang for his curry to pour over my rice and a second after jianyang answered, marcus immediately offered his curry to me.. i mean other than the fact that he can't eat spicy stuff, but he actually haf the heart to offer me curry! haha... that's such a minor thing but it kinda mean alot to me.. its quite hard to lose a friend like him and i'm seriously afraid that the more i try to be friendly with him, the further we'll drift apart. THEREFORE, nowadays when i see him, I don't 'hi' him at all... its better to be neutral then to be away rite?

Enough abt marcus, even i think that he might be (a) tired of hanging out with us (b) tired as in tired and sad and depressed (c) find us immature and wanna belong to other clique, which i believe with all my heart and my fingers crossed that its 'b', but nvrmindz, things will change sooner or later...

Ok, physics today was ok except for the fact that i haf trouble understanding the error and uncertainty stuff.. need remedial frm jianyi already.. jianyi IS a better teacher than tanhc... i guess..

Yay! Onghy rox seriously! cos firstly she noes me.. ok nvm thats bullcrap.. ok, her history lesson today isnt that boring, despite all the notes she handed us.. cos i tink she noes wat we want and wat we don't wan (laurang, leetk, tanhc... ...) so her lesson was interesting... lol.. but she is 28 yrs old already... that's not relevant but i dun care... she's kinda kewl tho... =P russia~ prussia~ croatia~ portia~...lalala~

double bio were the best periods of the day. cos i am not taking bio.. relaxing in a cool environment surrounded by shelves with stacks of coloured paper held by something u call a front and back page is extremely cool... air-con + doing homework + listening to my mp3s = roxorz!!! haha and sun peng seriously rocks in maths, xinhui and I were like struggling and he solved it like in 4 steps on so.. damn qiang.. and he doesn't have those boasty feeling but more of those helpful aura arnd him.. but joshua said that sun peng dusen really blend in with the classes yet.. i must agree on that cos xiongfan and siyuan in 3M have each other so they r more confident in taking risks to blend in and haf fun.. i even saw them playing capteh wif shuyuan and kaimeng and shuohan.. during lunch! lol... and sunpeng is just quiet and all.. but he's quite fun tho.. except that he always leaves his work at his boarding school so gwee always scolds him..

double chinese was ok oso.. we learn a new poem and we talked about bees - well, at least the pian1 zhang1 was abt bees... haha its real cool - - - to see yangwz consistently blowing his (and Dina's) horn abt having full marks for this and that and see him going off topic all the time.. lol.. but its fun!

then i tok bus wif the usual 3rd lang pple - benchow cos i persuaded him to go for his maths trng thingy but it was quite nice oso.. tok to weishi and joshua and blabber here and there abt our classes and all... 3rd lang was pretty ok today, i nearly fell asleep but i dint and i learnt quite alot again.. kewl... but this is the last week wif ms lue n i am still kinda sad...

oh ya, and did i mention that i met felina yesterday on my way home on the bus? she dint see me until she walked to the exit and i gave her a shock.. cos she was like sitting in frnt of me, looking damn sian and tired(expected) and i was trying to like wave at her but she still didnt notice me, so when she saw me, her eyes suddenly glittered brightly and was like, 'hey!' haha... but she's kewl.. and she has nice hair and complexion... and her voice rox too.. alto rox! yippee!

sighz, orientation and audition tmr... damn sian.. i hafto introduce the sec 1s abt the band and section tmr for orientation and will haf my audition tmr.. damn excited, i am scared i will fail despite kunwon/terence saying that lim won't fail any sec 3... all lies... bob might fail tho, that's wat terence said... sad/happy, i dunno.. but i dowan to fail.. i am trying to practice as hard as possible... bringing books home to memorise scales and the songs... please god let me pass and let my practice and enthusiasm last thru the next 4 mths.. pls... i really will work doubly hard and put in all i can to NOT let myself down, not let khaiboon and terence down, not let my parents down... (my parents dun even noe abt it)... haiz...

anywayz, i really gotta do homework.. its not alot but its gotta be done yea? kcya..

signing off,
KX

1/13/2005 08:28:00 PM

Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Ok, it's enough of my depression and saddening posts.. Enough is enough is enough, i can't go on, i can't go on no more no!!! lala~

today was kinda a half ok half not ok day.. More abt later.. but firstly today band in the morning was quite kewl.. cos for the first time, unenthu me took my eupho and played scales for like half an hr before the national anthem.. hmm.. i still suck though.. concert F.... GAR!!!

then IH elective was kinda fun, we had this demographic (something) model and we are supposed to describe and account for it... quite ok la.. not that interesting but not that boring.. lol..

next was chinese, damn fun.. we had this 'ming2 ren2 ming2 ju4' competition to fill in the blanks and all.. haha i only knew 3 out of 10 lor... but it was kinda fun... learnt quite a lil bit.. lol... any BSP lesson wif yangwz, taiboon and benchow is fun!

then recess was as per normal... except that jianyi and I ate from the blue plate chicken rice stall and we sat with other iSparkians (mostly 3Os) and they were all having yellow plate roti prata/nasi bryani stall! then jianyang was like, "why are u sitting with us? u r eating frm a diff stall.." blah blah.. den everyone laffed... i guess if i said it, jianyang will comment sth like 'stop being immature and all..'' hmmm.. jianyang's words has the impact like simon cowell.. lol, that's so not true...

assembly was like a science lecture by this professor thingy, who wasted an hr to tok abt something mr. suresh could have taught us and made it much more interesting in like 15 mins.. but nvm, he's a nobel prize winner, so i guess he has the right to be eccentric and senile... watever...

lastly, double physics was total boredom.. cos firstly we were late for our practical by 20mins cos we dint noe if we shld go to the lab for our practical anot? and by the time we got there, tanhc was bu shuang already.. so the double period passed kinda fast thru playing the micrometer screw gauge, and those measuring stuff.. woosh.. remind me not to tok to weiquan during science/maths lessons anymore! seriously, i dun understand wat he's talking abt... lol

lessons ended and IRS started... seriously, cos i am 'rejected' frm SMP due to my horrible timetable, and that sua and jianyi has to take SMP, so i am left with no group... therefore i haf to work with xinhui and jeffrey.. UNLESS, lerong and albert are approved to go for SMP, then xinhui and I will work wif ahzek and ahma... not much of a choice seriously, but if we really have to choose, i'll have to work with the old couple cos firstly, they are both good in science and maths and secondly, they work... despite the lameness, which i shall stop them from doing during presentation, and their unluckiness wif PD - never passed the semis before, i am seriously in a dilemma...

jeffrey, on the other hand, is supposedly more fun to work with, but he's lazy no doubt about it... here's wat the pple he's worked with say about him,"working with him is horrible..." and another person claimed, "hmm..pretty good, as pretty as lan yingjie that is.." so i seriously dunno abt him.. besides, i am not real friendly with him, its like even tho we hang out and all, we still mutually detest each other... nvrtheless, jeffrey has this streak of going into the finals all the time, sec 1 and 2, even tho he really don't do anything.. so its kinda a hard decision to make... but i seriously dun mind that i work wif him and xinhui, UNLESS he promises and will work lar!!! i oso wanna slack ya noe?

hmm.. next i went for band practice, individuals. for the second time ever.. sigh, cos i am unenthu... =P nvrtheless, sean and rujun were there and so we kept playing 7 nite over and over again until i have no more power to pitch my shitty F out of my instrument.. but it was kinda fun, i tink i improved a lil bit... i can catch up with the song and all.. more to improve tho..

oh ya, and terence wrote this new song and everyone was like laffing abt it cos the lyrics arent really that easy to sing with those weird endings but hey, its good ya noe! as in the lyrics make a hell alot of sense.. seriously.. and he's real proud tt pple like his song.. its cool, but the lyrics definitely need changing, and terence if u r reading this, haha, I DUN WANT TO BE THE LEAD SINGER! i tink it will be much much much more meaningful if the band sing it together.. like the band anthem before SYF or sth... 3 cheers!

then after tt, terence and I joined in a bball match wif jj, khaiboon, ernest, teng en, daichao, zhu hui and rujun.. sigh, apparently unsporty me suck so much that i can count how many times i touched the ball... jj is seriously damn qiang.. he's agile, fast, funny, shuai and everything.. but stunted just like me.. lol 2 cm shorter in fact.. but he's seriously damn zai lor... playing qiang, sports qiang, looks qiang.. woah... dunno abt his studies la.. so terence and I were like damn lan and were practically useless and all.. but well, i need my exercise... but i over exerted my sprained leg on monday so i need to rest my leg!! mwahaha..

so after that rujun, terence and i left earlier and toked a lil bit.. haha, i tink that terence seriously is real close to kun won and i lor... its like haoquan's brother liddat... lol... wonder how i'll react at the sec 4 farewell, hopefully not as sad as i was last yr.. that was tooo embarrassing... but must give khaiboon and terence big big present... lol

so finished watching charmed and blogging now before watching amazing race.. cya!

oh ya and khaiboon's real sweet:

quoted frm his blog -

.... aiya, just go to his blog to read it kayz.. i am too lazy to rearrange those lines.. :P

thx khaiboon for ur understanding and lots of other seniors and frenz.. ;D

signing off,
KX

1/12/2005 09:31:00 PM

Monday, January 10, 2005
I feel real obliged to post for the 2nd time... I felt ok after the first blog post, but after I thought about it, and my short convo with terence, I burst into tears again.. Its like i really feel damn zi bei..

So I was like singing songs again, then my dad scolded me again, (wats new) so I popped and said hi to terence and said that i already tried real hard to improve on my playing but i still suck so much.

Then he said that today's practice was a total failure and an indication that band won't get gold this yr. So I deduced that if band already sucked without me, the condition will aggravate to a CoP if i joined in.

And he was consistently trying to encourage me and tell me not to qi4 nei2. I mean seriously, I must thank Terence for being such a good SL. He might not be that good a technical SL in playing, but he fully expresses what a SL should do for his juniors and all, and i truly mean it.

He was like becoming enthu in band after he got a post and he was working real hard to improve his skills and he did. He sacrificed his time and all just to set an example for poor people like me. That's not all, it's like even though we, the members, always mock him and laugh at him and not respect him, he's still the terence everyone noes and we'll automatically settle down and listen to him.

Recently, as my inferiority complex sets in obviously, he's always the one there to support me and encourage by saying that I don't suck and ask me to have more confidence cos I can do it... It's like i am very touched by his sincerity and blessed to haf such a section leader that shows his compassion and his responsibility to care for his juniors lor...

I seriously realise that he might blame himself cos I play that badly, showing that he isnt a good SL and will feel bad about it cos of my playing, but I really do think that its not his fault at all lor... We both tried, he tried harder. I still suck at it.. Its more of my fault i think... but i can always sense his helplessness when I can reach those high concert F notes, its like he's blaming himself for my incompetence... Even he feels that he really dunno wat to say to make me feel less inferior about my playing and I really know that he tried damn hard...

From someone that is a slacker to a person as responsible and encouraging as he is, might be one of the miracles that ever happened.. its like i've never seen so much change in a person before in a short span of one yr... and i truly feel bad about it cos I tried so little, and i still play so badly, and the contrast between the 2 sec 3s are so wide and he's really putting alot of effort to help me and console me already.... i am really thankful and all, for he always provide such care and fun to our sectionals and making so much sacrifices to ensure the well being of his members...

Thank you terence.

Signing off,
KX
1/10/2005 10:46:00 PM

Sigh.. Depression sets in (again)... for 1/3 of the post, I'm going to talk about sun peng then abt jeffrey, 1/3 of the post abt how I had the taste of my own medicine and how unfair this world can be, and remaining 1/3 miscellaneously about mainstreamers, jap class and all...

I shall start: Every start of the week sucks. Seriously. I nearly cried again today. Or at least I had tears in my eyes..

Ok, so the started off at band, which I met Sean and others at the stairs leading to the porch. So he showed me his poster designs for the orientation for band cos he spent the whole sunday afternn on it. I seriously thought it was kinda creative for him to use reverse psychology to attract sec 1s to join. But alas, to my horrors, when Jiehan saw it, he was like "omigod! this is soo stupid! I can do it like, in 5 mins! blah blah.. this suck, the pictures not nice.. why is the backgd black and white...' den i can sort off see sean not qt happy le.. its like he spent so much time on it to get niaoed and commented by jiehan.. its seriously not fair i thought and i tried to reason it out with him and all.. then he still say that the sec 1s won't understand the reverse psychology blah blah... very very bad, but nvrtheless, i am always on sean's side cos i believe he really did put in effort in the posters and all.. well, c'mon, he was enthusiastic about it kayz...

So band was kinda ok and all.. Den our english period on style was bullcrap again, and after that we had damn early recess at 8.40, the 2nd period lor.. its like there's only one other 1 aphelion class and us having the 2nd period as our recess.. so i got my letter of transfer frm mrs-chan lampl for my 3rd lang class transfer and so i happily went for lunch, finished last min future problem solving wksheet and slacked.. well, i actually sorta watch jeffrey talking happily to yam huo and sun peng la, its a nice show seriously.. more abt that later...

double chem was kinda crappy oso, cos mr. liewyj is like the split image of our class notorious mascot, mr. lan yingjie and he's like real freaky, cos from my seat's point of view, then i see mr. liew looking at the com, his side profile is almost identical to lanyj's side profile.. scary

double maths was nth better too.. 2 periods of leetk's act-cute, lame jokes and maths worksheets was totally kinda boring.. even tho i must admit that i do enjoy doing all those problem sums cos the feeling of being knowledgable, knowing how to answer the sums and having the same answers as yong lin/sunpeng/yamhuo +++ are real comforting cos i noe i am correct for once... haha... so its not THAT bad after all.. compared to wat will happen if jasmine tey DOES teach us maths..

Chinese was kinda fun.. Cos we are like separated into the majestic 8 for the chinese debate thingy and I am one of them!! They are - (1) Guan Hui, (2) Yam Huo, (3) Yong Lin, (4) Sua Yu, (5),Taiboon, (6) Hong Chen, (7) Yufeng and (8) ME!!!! so its like we'll haf intensive trng blah blah in the next week then finally we'll choose the elite 4 frm these 8.. damn kewl lor.. its like i am in a dliemma cos its like i dunno whether i shld work hard for it - good points: lots of ACE (and I mean it! its like most probably can max lor..)and i can brush up on my speaking skills but bad points: i am kinda retarded in response and dun speak well, and i scared of throwing iSpark's face or feel zibei when debating against PRCs shld i be in the elite 4.. sighz...

Geog was quite kewl too.. future problem solving model (a.k.a fuzzy) isnt really my type of geog hmwk to do cos i can't think of problems to crap about so its like i haf to copy from other's presentation and all.. lol.. oh ya, and I am 10cm taller than esmond now! haha, he's like soo cute cos he's so short and we r now like frm best frenz to like brothers liddat haha... WE NEED GROWTH HORMONES!!!

Ok, back to the topic about jeffrey and I. Ok, this part is kinda explicit to all my bad points cos to put it bluntly, and everyone noes that I am ATTENTION SEEKING, especially in new environment.. That's for me of cos, but maybe jeffrey's just friendly, watever... Ok, jeffrey, if u reading this post, dun be offended kayz, cos this is more abt me being the bad guy... So tell me if u r offended, i'll delete this part off kay..

Yupz, so you may think that i am jealous or sth, which i probably am cos i aint used to being not the 'attention' or 'focus' in the surroundings i am in, so things sorta turned out to be like a popularity contest between me and jeffrey... i must admit, jeffrey's attention-seeking skills of acting cute/self-initiated conversations/self-mockery.. are really working real well, cos somehow he DOES attract that attention frm nice nice people like the PRC mr. sun, the big bro yam huo, the 'sexually-attractive' chin seng, the scoutier melwan, the cute lil yufeng, and ashley... ...

It's like as if i lost the competition or sth, not entirely but its like my 'mojo jojo' isnt working anymore.. mojo jojo - social attractiveness is like fading off... but no less, its definitely recognised that jeffrey is much much more memorable and unforgettable than i am..

firstly,he's fat. no offence abt this, but fat people are more easily recognised, and being fat will invite mockery to increase his unforgettably... the push here is that jeffrey mocks himself and whacks the people when they laff at his size - so it makes him even more memorable as the 'self despising fat boy'... secondly, he has a christian name. its yet another ploy to make him more unforgettable.. li ting is definitely harder to remember than jeffrey. no doubt abt it, in grps introduction, pple with christian names are easier to rmb and all and this does work for jeffrey as well..

Lastly and most imptly, jeffrey is very self-initiated, as in to initiate a conversation, get people's attention, and all... and his routine act-cuteness and all works in favour of him in order to get the attn of his targets, i shall say.. well, i shld stop here to prevent me from being too suggestive about wat i am trying to say, but my point is that i am actually analyzing the way new people see a 'bubbly' character like jeffrey and finds entertainment within him and therefore associate with him... its just weird but its just true isn't it?

I may sound very jealous here, cos I am! but nvrtheless, i am kinda contented with the fact that there are still other pple who likes me and finds me adorable for who I am... same applies to sua yu... i mean, we can still be ourselves and people like joshua or benchow will stay say that we are cute... its like a natural thing... its like yupz, even tho sometimes there's a bit of unnaturalness involved, but i do believe that i seriously do not go to the extent too far off my limits or watever... sigh, its like i am still a happy person, with all the people surrounding which most of them i can call as friends, and not audiences to see me act as a clown... so i guess i'm still happy i guess...

Oh ya, so frm jeffrey's routine convos with sun peng and yam huo, he told sua and I that sun peng is acutally RICH!!1 (mwahaha.. i shall b superficial and ACT as his friend!!!) lol.. cos he went to watch the SHE concert last nite with the most ex tickets and he's damn rich... kewl rite? its like he get wat he wants... that's my dream lor - to get what i desire...

and i created a miracle today.. i taught sun peng the F word, yes PHARK.... cos jeffrey, yam and him were discussing abt fuzzy then i joined in to ask yam question abt the solutions part then i saw sun peng's paper totally filled.. then i blurted out 'wat the F!' then sun peng suddenly asked 'wats PHARK?' then he searched his electronic dictionary to noe the meaning then he suddenly kept saying it.. yippee! and jeffrey was like real disturbed cos i impurified his dearest and he was like blaming me and all... watever~ i was just trying to make a PRC be more adapted to his surroundings wat.. nth wrong rite? lol...

ok enuff abt mr. sun and jeffrey now, jeff shld be fuming rite now and will start another war wif me probably tmr... sad.. but i am just saying what i feel kayz...

so between 2-3.30, i had band sectionals with terence and kun won.. terence being the SL had to conduct the both of us, and kun won, being the professional and I being the inferior, sucky, shittyhead, freaking-asshole, of cos was the lousier one and was being mocked at by kun won...

so yea, i still cant play concert F with the nice tone kayz, and i am STILL using the freaking wrong technique to play cos i press my lips too hard to pia the note out... so kun won was like pushing his lips at the mouthpiece to imitate me and it came out a real bad tone then he laffingly said to me, 'yea, thats what u sound like.. haha'..

i was kinda taken aback lor.. seriously, i noe my playing can NEVER be compared to his but he doesn't have to say that to hurt me even more does he? its like i dun even noe how to react and just stared blankly and was kinda sad lor.. its like i suddenly just teared... but i dun dare to cry... i CANT CRY! its like i haf to bottle my feelings inside and act as if nth happened.. terence sorta noticed my sad face and asked me not to be sad and all.. i mean, i cant really blame kun won cos he's really much more pro and i am really THAT sucky so its like normal for him to laff at me and mock me for being such a sucker...

just when i thot the mockery as stopped, no, he was toking to terence about the 7th nite of july being a piece full of solos and solis and that no one can 'lan4 yu2 chong1 shu4' and he patted my shoulder while he was saying that, intending that i was lan yu chong shu-ing lor.. i am really sad kayz.. its like i am trying not to cry and u r consistently making me to do so.. its like he's changed ever since last yr 2nd term, its like evrything's changed and all... and i am really sucky, i noe that.. seriously, pls dun tell me that, its enuff for me to take it...

i am seriously expriencing an outrage of anger, sadness and tears now lor.. i dun even noe how to describe when i heard my once-best-friend said that to me today.. its just real disappointing and i feel more zibei and depressed than ever..


so i tried to get out of band at 3.30, and even i did make some progress in my playing, its still like nth to kun won cos i still suck at it, lan dynamics, lan tone and expression ++ i am just too lousy to be his friend k.. i am from 3N rmb?

so i missed my bus at the overhead bridge so i sat down at the NY bus stop and heard some MSers toking abt physics and all.. its rather stupid that people can make the same obvious mistake twice without noticing it.. its even worse when the listeners dun get the mistake at all..

there was this guy saying that how hard it was to do physics experiment cos its impossible to measure the 'light of speed'. then some agreed, then the very same person explained that its bcos a lot rays speed through in a moment so its damn hard to calculate the ' light of speed'... rite.. i was like half laffing and half wondering why no one bothered to correct his error and all, and i dint want to speak up cos i am not extra, and its not polite to interrupt convos amongst pple u dunno, and i being an iSparkian, with a gay reputation certainly become a minority even in a crowded bus stop so its strategic for me to shut my mouth up...

haiz, then i went to 3rd lang, wet not drenched and ben chow and weishi welcomed me and all,joshua and others are like bo-chup so i oso dun give a damn.. haha, i seriously tink ben chow is a kewl person lor, just like jinyang liddat, always make me laff and feel sorta not left out... thx to ya, he was like toking to me and all, and i am real happy that we r in the same BSP class...

oh ya, jap was fun today... as in completing those worksheets are cool cos ms lue is a real friendly teacher and she pardons my stupidity in the jap language... but i am sorta getting my cleverness back, its like i noe the answers for abt 80% of the worksheets... and her lessons are fun too...

got the usual ppt slides where we learn how to use conversational jap language to communicate then got diff accent.. damn fun and all... i really learnt quite alot from her lor... she's a good teacher i guess..

but good things nvr last.. rmb abt the 3rd lang class transfer form.. ya, u get the idea.. sighz...

me overdosing myself wif the infite loop of 7th nite of july now... wish me luck.. i really dun wan to be that zibei anymore...


signing off,
depressed KX


1/10/2005 08:08:00 PM

Thursday, January 06, 2005
Yet another day in school.. Today fared worse than yesterday.. Here are the reasons why: (promise to be a kinda short post cos I am adequately tired..)

1. Started off day with double Maths - did Indices worksheet frm leetk.. Seemed much easier than the worksheets Jasmine tey gives. But the double periods are boring though.. Still, no one listens to leetk except mouth scanner, ah zek....

2. Then we continued the bad row on with english lesson on style... Somehow, laurang twisted the main topic and talked about some egyptian professor that she hated cos that professor hated asians.. blah blah blu blah..

3. recess! finally! ate with taiboon, kunwon, jeffrey and tingwei... mmm.. the prawn mee is still quite nice... then talked more to taiboon and all.. haha, i tink i really talk a lot to taiboon now as compared with my other best friend jianyi cos he is more with weishi so leaving me talk to taiboon and laff at all the amusing stuff he did.. nvrtheless, jianyi, jeffrey, darrell and i went to sim yesterday b4 band and we also had quite a fun time..

oh ya and on our way to the canteen, i saw weixin at the steps... its the first sign.. u noe u'll see the sea receding before a tsunami? exactly my point, in like 3 seconds later, i heard douglas or some1 frm sean's anti-geper/sissy/gay/me clique shouting, 'oh! that's the sissy kia..' hmm.. i tink shld be douglas cos he shld haf read my previous entry cos he dint use the term gay anymore.. nvrtheless, even tho sean apologised, but i am still kinda pissed but not pissed in a sense.. i had to face that while queuing for my prawn noodle! its like losing ur appetite before even buying the food... oh ya, and mr. yong forgot my name! he actually called me ki'ern (ya, one of the LIME mag writers) lol.. and he then walked over to taiboon and asked him for my name.. so bad and so sad.. lol

4. then next was physics.. continued the row of bad lessons... we did nth much other than talking about systematic errors, random errors, precision and accuracy.. dint believe that i manage to remember all of that.. lol.. then went thru the worksheet we did yesterday and tanhc was crapping about scientific notation being ridiculous when put as 1.30 X 10 as a standard answer cos he wanted a simple 13, but as the rules of scientific notation goes, and if chung hk let's math dint teach wrongly, the left number shld be 1>x>10... so, tanhc is therefore proven to be unprecise yet inaccurate. booya

5. gwee turned things round in her core lesson, we did the scheme of work thingy and i was enthusiastic abt the geomorphology part cos i am always interested in volcanoes and earthquakes and mts... haha so we had to do this listing thingy abt 'continental drift' and 'plate tectonics' and i had a quite long list to hand in.. lol.. haha and oh ya, sun peng, being unknowledged had his paper blank! lololol... *shan't laff at him le.. more later..

6. so after core, we went to library (non-bio pple and PRCs) and they did their maths worksheet while i read my teenage mag.. it was boring.. lime rox totally! and ashley was like complaining why didnt he take bio and jeffrey was busy irritating ashley by calling him stupid, writing nonsense such as 'leetk rocks his socks' on ashley's maths paper and all.. wow, that's like soooo fun! and xinhui was just like comparing answers with the former 2.. den the 3M PRCs just did their math work too.. they seem kinda friendly i guess.. well, at least they dint reject me when i asked to sit with them at the same table so ok lor... then after i got bored with the mag, i went up to the 2nd storey to look for geog books/ singing for dummies/ quiz books... and found sun peng there searching for books as well.. haha, i dunno if sun peng's really like that friendly, or isit because he's new and wanted to be accepted so he is 'acting' friendly, but there really isn't any sense of awkwardness when i speak to him.. it's like quite natural.. mayb its bcos i haf jiunn lin as my eupho junior, which is a malaysian scholar so... wateva... haha and i got bored of the books as well and we went for our 'early' lunch...

7. lunch was kewl too cos the bio teacher (dint really look at her, but ms. oon doesn't look as fat as i first saw her, she looked quite friendly however) let the bio pple off for lunch early at 1.20 and i ate at the purple plate stall with 3M pple (melwan, shengwei, and some other pple) with lerong and ashley... haha toked alil with sheng wei abt bio/3rd lang wateva.. he dusen really hate me i guess, he's just annoyed when i am my immaturish talkative self...

8. nxt double chinese was one of the worse periods of the day.. not bcos yangwz sucked.. but the debate video was extremely boring despite the fact that we were awed at the debator's language command.. except for the fact that they R prcs... and right next, we had to go to LT3 to merge with 3K's BSP class... den when the teachers were briefing, omigosh, u shld have seen how the PRCs talk man, they were unbelievably well versed in those books and all.. like they memorised all poems/famous lines/books available in chinese libraries.. made us iSparkians zibei and all.. sigh...

9. then yufeng, benchow, jingyang and i took a bus to 3rd lang centre.. both yufeng and jeffrey are quitting btw... sigh.. 3rd lang w/o yonglin and zhenghang is no doubt more fun and less cold, but the fact is that i feel stupid cos i cant copy the answers and mrs. lue kept pointing at my paper for mistakes.. but for once, she said 'good' after i completed one page of jap fill in the blanks... haha.. oh ya, and i oso pity lay lay san cos he is like sitting in midst of the mainstream CHS who's goals are to pass with a 30% score so elite him will definitely be influenced into a stupid boi.. hmph, can't let him beat me.. even tho nicholas will definitely be the top scorer.. lol, no need for such competitiveness.. i dun care abt results anyway... lol

Conclusion: 2dae is a bad dae...

Signing off,
KX
1/06/2005 08:00:00 PM

Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Wednesday's the day! Sighz I am kinda happy that its raining this morning so there's no flag raising cos I was freaking tired when I woke up this morning due to 4 hrs of sleep each day since Sunday... Nvrtheless, I still went for band until like 7.15 stoning and all, while Kun Won played his euphonium with gusto and professional style.. I mean, he beats me in everything (naturally cos he's 1000% more enthusiastic and 1000000% more musically talented than i am) - in rhythm, pitching, theory, high notes, breathing, tempo and everything... mayb even tone cos my tone for high notes (which in my case is concert F onwards) is fluttered and shitty... Still dunno y terence/khaiboon sae that i haf better tone when i apparently suck so much.. more abt that later...

So I went back to class, read newspaper by myself.. Yupz, ALL BY MYSELF, cos i segregatedly sit by myself in front so i get the papers all to myself! Yippee! And ho-hum, we had our first ever Geog period today.. Yupz, Gwee Hana's teaching us... Not really enthu at first cos she thot that i was GAY after the humans nite performance... isit me that acted too well or is she just superficial? lol.. but nvrmindz, i sorta 'adjusted' my perspective cos she complimented me today! lol.. we were supposed to brainstorm words and links/e.g.s to the topics of demography and economic geog and i did quite a lot - abt the whole page.. and she was kinda impressed and said 'good' cos her minimum word limit for each bubble is 15 words, and i haf like 5-7 times more... so i rock.. i am egocentric... no doubt abt it - oh~ oh~... cos when the guitar starts playin' with the syncopated rhythm with the scratch, scratch, scratch.... (dances to the tune wildly)

Then we had chinese, we toked abt debating and all.. Then Yangwz showed us the video of past yr's debates... even pple frm neighbourhood schools also can debate quite well lor.. bu CHS's PRCs are of cos unbeatables la, with the drama-ramas and all... damn mushy and goosepimply... haha.. but we haf to choose our 4 pple frm our own BSP class... i mean, its kinda expected rite? the list of the selected are like: taiboon (confirmed), yufeng, yonglin, yamhuo, sua yu and guan hui.... why ego me dint put my name down? cos firstly, I AM RETARDED, and secondly my kou3 cai2 is not very good... sigh... but wateva, yr 3 is a year to shirk off frm all responsibility, just like Benjamin frm the animal farm... Oh ya and the benjamin in Animal farm i tink is gay lor, cos he is attached to Boxer, which also is a male and they hang out at the orchard grazing every sundays, its like they haf affair or sth... lol...

Assembly was kinda crappy and the most eventful thing that happened was that I sat beside Sun Peng and I realised something.. Something that proved my point if u read my previous blog entries abt normality... Yupz, I realised that Sun Peng actually don't like shuai, but its bcos he looks normal in the class and frm other PRCs like siyuan and xiongfan or wateva their names are, so he tend to stand out and look nicer in a sense... just like the conductor frm the victoria chorale... both the conductor and mr. sun, the man who hanged china, are really worth a second look if i meet them on streets and all, but in the midst of less-appealing pple, they tend to be more recognisable so my theory is rite! wow.. i am so going to get the High D for this project if i put it in SMRP - "Normality in midst of Acne breakouts and distortion of facial organs"... lame

Then we had DOUBLE PHYSICS!!! Woo-hoo! Tan hock chye is DA BOMB dood!!! Here's my lil rap for him:

Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! We have this teacher called tan hockchye,
on every wednesdays he's gonna make us cry,
he walks the talk, and look on the floor,
door, core, more, bangkok.. like BANG WHAM BANG!!! I need great toot in a toot toot train with an
"ALRITE?" and an "OKAY?" and stares at the floor again!
click he goes with the ppt slides,
while we are trying not to laff with all our might..
WHY ON EARTH DOES HE LOVE THE GROUND?
if he licks the floor i'll give him a pound....
but i still want great toot in a toot toot train, cos WHAM BAM BAM, that's my game...
now who the phark did that?

oh ya, the physics worksheet is damn difficult but i still did it? i outwitted yufeng and lerong! pwnage!!! lolol...

Then after the gruesome 'periods', we went for SMRP and IRS briefing that was totally useless.. its confirmed that jianyi, sua and I are doing one project... then i went for band... zibei myself and jiunnlin while we had sectionals... quite productive.. did 2 pages of 7th nite and the singapore rhapsody.. i hate concert F. i suck.

Oh ya and then I went to the NY bus stop with sean we toked abt douglas... cos after the SMRP briefing i saw sean's company and he pointed to douglas who was walking away... haha, and sean tells me u read my blog regularly and think that i am a freaking homosexual... fine think wateva u wan, but i just wanna make a point that 1. u dun haf to avoid me cos i am SO not going to hit on u and vice versa, unlike wat sean always say... 2.I am not gay. 3. If u find me sissy, that's bcos (a) either u dun noe me well enuff so u misunderstood my bubbliness and immaturity as sissiness and gayness and u might say or (b) i AM sissy... watever~ kayz, after addressing this issue, i oso haf a point to make too... rmb the time sean asked u and ur co. to tok to me thru the phone and u said u wanted to ummm 'blowjob' me? i noe that's shit, but being an iSparkian, and i must uphold the image of being grammatically correct, the correct term to use is to give a blowjob and not blowjob someboday cos the term blowjob is a noun, not a verb.. brush up ur english skills pls... *self-talking*.. thx.. i just finished my oscar winning, mr. universe winning speech... *applause please*

and thru my 3 days of horror, i must really really thank sean for being so considerate and i aint being sarcastic but tis true frm the bottom frm my heart cos he actually cares abt me and all and he says that i am oversensitive abt friends (check prev 2 posts) and i need to be more confident abt my self... and he asked me to sms me to nag/complain/throw my garbage sorrows to him when i need him... wat a great friend... at least i feel contented and knowing that pple other than sean will be there for me when i need them.. that's my d3f1n1t10n of true friends.. thx again...

charmed time!


Signing off,
KX





1/05/2005 07:45:00 PM

Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Hmmm.. Things are turning somewhat brighter now... Oh ya, my apologies for my 'angsty'/depresed/sad post last nite, I was really on the verge of depression last nite with all my stress coming in.. Things are more cleared up today so I'm fine.. Thx for ur encourgament(s), Khaiboon and kian hong.. Nvrtheless, I am still kinda worried abt things now, cos everything is still like different and all...

Band was still alrite this morning, except sean kept harping on sun peng's existence by constantly shouting 'Sun Peng!' at me to irritate me... But other than that, everything was as per normal... oh ya, the sec 2 auditioning for SYF participation is on thursday.. I am really worried cos i am afraid i can't make the mark and I haf to take the audition nxt week.. seriously, i suck soo much in eupho playing until, umm... choco ice cream is a nice to eat wif onion rings and i seriously dunno wat i am talking about but i noe wat i meant so good... Jiunn Lin obviously has a higher chance to be in the competition but I am sufficiently worried for Bob cos firstly, I can't play those quaver notes at a high range of high fs and Gs so therefore Bob can't too and Bob can't tongue his notes so i am just worried for him in a sense... Haiz..

And after band, for the first time ever, kun won said bye to me.. I mean its not very weird or not but it's just reminiscing the feeling of 2 yrs back when we were still young and immature.. Now i am the only one that is young and immature now... Some people just have to grow and Kun won and marcus and jianyi did... Sad to say, that's probably why they are sort of 'leaving' me now, as in we aren't that close like we used to last yr or even 2 yrs back anymore.. I am really very very sad, cos i am seriously reflecting on how i spent my past 2 yrs happily and its back to reality now...

Yes, i can't stop them frm growing up and maturing to young fine gentleman can I? Even if i wanted to, they themselves wanna get away frm the immature child that sings so much even tho his voice suck like the brown solids that oozes out from everyone's anuses at least once every 2 days rite? It's like they are delibrating drifting away frm me - Kun won's now laughing at my immaturity and my naivety and moved on with life with the jianyang clique in his class with hurwitz and all.. Marcus is resisting me in some sense cos he finally realised where he belong - wif ben chow and the 2O cool-ies... Jianyi ain't really moving off to new cliques in his class but he's sorta changing his immature company which = replacing me with wei shi... i tink he's kinda sick of me and all... People change don't they? It's just that some people change more quickly than the others...

So our timetable was out and to our horrors, Laurang is teaching us English language for the whole year. God. Pharq! But she is still blur and all.. And we are supposed to write and 1.2k-1.5k essay like on this week that is so freaking hard... Sigh... But fortunately, we only haf 5 periods of Laurang each week.. Phew...

Then we had maths cos our chemistry teacher mr. liew was absent on the first day of lessons = non-bio pple will be released at 1.30 sharp! Yippee! we had the diagnostic test thingy and our PRC sun peng unleashed his hidden talent as a mathematician, with a higher probability to trash ah zek and be on par wif wei quan... He explained the answer in chinese though but i tink he's still quite shuai.. except he has the image thing - the PRC nerdy image cos he's like 1.75m tall (that's wat he said) and so his pants were quite high up his waist and all, but at least he looks more normal den the other 2 prcs frm 3M which they were their pants more high up.. eww... and he has the kinda blur/cheena image thingy... in other words, he just hasnt blend in wif us - the typical singaporeans yet... that might be good/bad, but i still haven manage to adapt the feelin of havin a prc in my class...

So recess was ok, had exreta mee wif the usual company and jianyi tried out the roti prata.. quite nice (i stole a bite frm him)... den went to 3O for some socialising.. haha.. jy is still so shuai as b4 with his new brad pitt hairstyle.. lolz.. and taiboon's sitting beside chin seng in class!!!!! and after tt we had BSP wif yang wz... and benchow and taiboon came to our class and i immediately sat with them cos i need to absorb some of 3O's eliteness...lol.. oh ya and the 3 good things abt BSP and 3 bad things abt BSP:

Good: 1. YangWZ is teaching us.
Good: 2. BSP-ians are exempted frm Higher Chinese EOY exams
Good: 3. BSP-ians are exempted frm taking HCF O-lvls...
Bad: 1. YangWZ is teaching us
Bad: 2. We are going to both the rural areas to 'zhong4 tian2' and city area to be niaoed by the chinese
Bad: 3. We still have to take term tests and a Chinese MRP-like assignment as our EOY grade

Oh ya and thruout the lesson (2 periods), ben chow was half slping cos firstly YangWZ was kinda off topic and all and ben was doing CNY preps and dint haf enuff sleep so i sorta empathise wif him... and taiboon went off halfway during the lesson and nvr came back! dunno y and how he did that but he just did it! lol... but BSP is going to be fun! and i am relieved that i dint take the scholarship cos they told me that only scholarship holders MUST take chinese history in JC and tt sux! lol...

Then physics was half ok cos firstly i always disliked tan hock chye cos he was our IRS mentor in sec 1 and he's slacky and lazy n all so i dint really haf a good impression of him... and the lesson was ok cos we only went thru the scheme of work and i was blown away.. i'll flunk term one cos the focus is on optics and light (die!) and term2 will be dead as well cos i can't take kinematics (die! die!) and term 3 has MORE kinematics (die!die!die!)... sad life dude

den we had the party thing and we slacked for one hr and it was lunch break... den letchmi called for those non-bio pple for a meeting of where can the non-bios can go during bio periods and i went home and arrived at abt 3++... rewatch scary movie 3 for a while and i slept...

oh ya, i just read the horoscope section frm my new bought lime! mag and here goes:

SAGITTARIUS

With the planet of ego (true), Mars, in Sagittarius until early Feb, you are in a period of intense review. (god can they get more truer than this?) As personal questions you haven't considered for ages surface, you must also stand your ground in a variety of settings. Both force you to reflect on your values, your goals and how you organise your life. In some cases, your;e happy abt things, but in tohers u realise serious improvement or dramatic change is vital. This is good timing, since when circumstances demand exactly that, you're ready..

so if this is accurate, which i tink it is, i'll bid marcus, kun won and jianyi goodbye.. nice 2 noe u guys as frenz and thks so much for always being there for me in the past 2 yrs.. i really appreciate it.. :'(

Signing off,
KX

1/04/2005 07:44:00 PM

Monday, January 03, 2005
3rd Jan 2005 - A day I'll never forget in CHS/HCI life... Where all my depression and stress finally let out.. Where everything didn't go my way... Where my hopes are turned into fears and my fears are haunting me seriously...

Today sucks. My class sucks. Being me sucks. Khee Xuan sucks.

Kayz, today I did everything as perfectly as I could, (i'm a perfectionist you see), using mouthwash for like the 1341th time in my life, washing my face with the facial cream with the massage beads which made me feel kinda refreshed after my 4 hr sleep....

Drank my own milo (too sweet) and went to school.. Cool... my dad's car dint break down despite the heavy rain thruout the nite... So its kewl and all and I arrived at band at like 5.30++ and saw yikun, chinseng and some other pple... Tok tok tok until mr. khaiboon arrives at 7.45+ and we were late for band and all...

Band wasn't that screwy actually, its just the songs were too repititive (haijun.. hmm-umm..)and my frenz said that the LOTR 8 bars sucked and all.. Watever (in KX's tone).. So after boasting abt my new HP and our 'air-coned' class to sean, i feel kinda guilty and all but to my shock AND horror, our classrms haf no AIRCON!!!

I was damn pissed on the way to drama centre for the crappy tok abt unrelated stuff such as iCouncil structure which is 90% totally non of our business.. sigh... and there's this sun peng guy, a PRC that came to our class cos he took LRC... he looks kinda shuai i tink... not that cheena-ish look but he definitely looks much nicer than half of our class tho... hmm.. potential friend.. (gee i am sooo superficial)...

So when we returned to our class, I finally had a good view of sun peng face to face (cos i was sitting behind him during the briefing) and he looked kinda familiar.. but being new, he 'hi'-ed to everyone and was just being friendly and all.. but NO, pple like sua and I were, for some reason, back to our habit of mockery again! and since there's no ting wei and simqx for sua to mock, so sun peng was our target.. PRCs are always ez to mock - had practice frm 2 yrs of association wif rujun and sean so, u noe what i mean la... dun mean to be evil though, cos sun peng seems to be quite a nice guy to me, when compared wif pple like notorious lanyj, siheng and others...

So during recess, our usual clique of jianyi, sua, taiboon, darrell and kun won just toked thru the whole thing and all den we went to the space for more briefing for SMRP and all other crap abt extra lessons = on tues n thurs = pon half of band prac = khee xuan sucks in eupho playing = kana niao = despised = zibei = depression = suicidal thoughts = khee xuan seen on the ground floor of a 20 storey building with blood gushing out frm his anus and mouth... lol.. jking.. my hse only got 10 storeys la... Oh ya and when the PRCs intro themselves, Sun Peng said that he's frm szechuan and weishi and i said sth abt szechuan's soup is hot and spicy and all.. den taiboon suddenly blurted out that spicy maybe, but he (S.P)'s hot! haha.. den jianyi and i were rolling our eyes cos taiboon has done it again... and he was like putting his arm arnd chin seng intimately b4 the briefing and begging me to organise another KTV session.. lol...

so after wat seems to be a lightyear, we went back to our class again to decide on our sitting arrangement.. apparently yam huo was too tall so he sat at the back, which meant he moved his table frm beside me to the back, leaving me isolated and lonely in the frnt row in the left most corner to the classrm, which is, yupz, closest to the door....

wats worse then happened.. CMC election.. in a class full of baileis, 3N is like choosing the better ones frm the incorrigible ones.. like the band exco of this yr.. (no offence but the majors and exco r quite okay - except those non-exco/SLs) u get wat i mean rite? so the only fight was between yam huo and sua for chairman and in the end, sua voluntarily gave his chairman seat to yam and he took the monitor seat...

and lerong n yufeng, being desperate to send me into CMC after his evil mastermind plans since sec 1 for me to replace jianyang which dint work out.. (luckily) and being a sec in sec 2 but i had asthma on the election day so sharma chose zhenghang which fortunately, was a good choice and gave me my own freedom and all.. this yr, i wasnt spared.. leetk and lerong conspired to make me into a gen sec no matter wat.. fine.. so i won kayz? and it sux being a secretary cos zheng hang raised the standards of being a class sec to sooo way high that i am confident that i can't do it... updating homework everyday, doing all those manual labour and com stuff is real crap.. trust me.. sighz i hate my class and my teachers and my position in class. thx leeteckong and monseuir lebong...

so lunch was wif usual company, benchow, marc ho (which for some reason is drifting away frm me as a close friend but i dunno y cos i am kinda irritating i tink), weishi, joshua, jeffrey, jianyi and yufeng at yoshinoya and after stuffing my stomach, i wanted to vomit and went to the toilet and attempted to do so but was kind of a failure but nvrmindz...

den they went to MPH bkstore to kill time cos we had 2 hrs to kill and we were reading all books frm feng shui 2005 for horse, murderous maths, almanac 2005 to amazing sex and kamasutra.. it's damn kewl, cos they show naked couples being intimate and hiding each other's privacy to save their face.. lol.. itneresting..

but unable to understand and tolerate books, i went out of the store and came back in and went out, listening to my mp3 phone player which has ownage kelly clarkson's mp3 n diana's n latoya's +++ and at 3.30, when i went back in, they R gone!! gosh... i was like shaken off for once, unintentionally so i just pretended nth happened and went to MOELC and saw them there...

i was still listening to my mp3 so i dint make a noise when i put my bag down but after for like 15 mins, marcus turned arnd and saw me and was shocked, so were weishi, joshua and yufeng i tink and all cos my presence was so unannounced... the wait b4 3rd lang is always stoning and boring.. so boring until cheery ben chow was pissed and tired.. poor boi... and i was real despo to qutie 3rd lang cos i am sick of it and all but my parents.. haiz..

in the end, 3rd lang was quite ok, the new teacher is mrs. lue, jap is dry and boring, i am a stupid freak trying to understand a language i wun be using for half of my life and i accidentally offended lay lay san.. cos i dint noe he was frm myanmar until the teacher asked him abt it and i suddenly blurted out, "SINGAPORE TRASHED MYANMAR 8-5!!!" den he was like kinda taken aback by wat i just said and i was like trying to eat my words back but its apparently of no use...

but nvm, after 3rd lang i told my mom i want out, but she still dowan.. and oh ya, her interview to be a maths teacher is this wednesday, sigh, hope she can enunciate her words properly and not be another mrs. chung giving out melted milk choco bunnies for prizes and stickers to encourage us to be more enthusiastic....

and when i arrived home, tired and pissed, my parents got on my nerves cos i told them singing was my passion and i wanna be a singer when i grow up (that's for now) and they said that i wun be able to earn big bucks and all.. i mean, yupz, its true cos i dun haf an amazing voice like kelly clarkson or even taufik, i dun haf nice looks like brad pitt or tom cruise to make it big and lastly, there's a 0.1% one will make it in singapore's music industry unless i immigrate to US and become more zibei when meeting pple like latoya london.. sighz.. but they shldnt put me down liddat wat... i mean, they could be more encouraging and all and i was real broken hearted cos after all the events today, they just dropped a rock into my heart and piercing it with their words.. its real sad if anyone could empathise wif me..

so i was like crying on my bed (surprise! i am a wimp!) and was just thinking so much abt my 'future' and all.. its like i aint interesting in anything except singing just yet.. why must i think so far ahead and all.. life sucks seriously... and why can't i pursue wat i am passionate abt? taiboon's mom dun stop taiboon frm taking ballet lessons and all.. its just unfair how this society can be...

and i was like trying to find someone to tok to and i figured out that taiboon will b too bz wif his mainstream frenz, jianyi will laff at me or find me a nuisance for being less smart than he is, so i wrote a sms to sean, asking him if he was free to tok to me via phone so i can pour all my sorrows, but for some reason, i was tearing while i waswriting the message and after hesitation, i dint send that message... i just felt so alone and sad... sighz...

but anywayz, our DM khaiboon sort of consoled me wif his words (thx) and i will rmb his words forever:
A day passes when we are happy. The same day passes even if we are unhappy... So we might as we be happy right? after thinking, i aint that sad anymore lor.. but i am still pissed and tired and sad... sighz

but look on the bright side: yangwz's teaching BSP and i will b in the same chinese class as ben chow and taiboon!!! yay!! the dark side is kuang li is taking BSP too... the bright side: sean is a treasurer in 3A and there's no band tmr! yippee!!!

kayz g2g.. make sure this post is posted...

signing off,
KX

1/03/2005 08:17:00 PM

Friends

..::desolatewallaby:..
..::d3f1n1t10n::..
..::pigheadfool::..
..::jy::..
..::byarnor [I] / [II]::..
..::orangefirefly::..
..::marcus' galleria:..
..::shinta_::..
..::terryble::..
..::destalin::..


Archives

02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006

Name:--Khee Xuan--
Age: --14--
From: --Singapore--
Job:--Student!--

mini-bio
food --junk--
drink --soft--
colour --bright--
best friends: sua, jianyi, darrell
and sean
good friends: jy, yam, ashley, yufeng, marc ho,
, calvin, jeffrey, rujun and ben!