Guide to Survive Khee Xuan: The DOs and DON'Ts to Annoy Him And Vice Versa
Chapter 2: What are you to Khee Xuan? (and otherwise)
Wonder how close you are to Khee Xuan? How intimate he feels towards you? Take the first quiz to find out how Khee Xuan feels about his distance with you!
Part 1: Proximity Quiz - How close you are to Khee Xuan
Instructions: Write the answers of the following questions on a piece of paper. The option you choose will have a mark beside it and kindly refer to the marking scheme at the end of this quiz. Collate your scores and match it with the given categories of your intimacy with him.
1. Have you watched a movie with Khee Xuan before? (In part of a group or one-on-one?) Bonus: Name the movie(s) you've watched with him.
a. Yes, one-on-one
b. Yes, in part of a group
c. Nopes
2. Of the following phrases, which is most likely / frequently that you will use /used to shut Khee Xuan up when he is singing? Bonus: What was the latest song he sang that made you shut him up?
a. Give an amused look and walk away without talking
b. "Aiyah, keep quiet la!"
c. "Shut Up! Your singing sucks!"
3a - To classmates only!
How frequent do you sit on the same table with Khee Xuan during recess/lunch/outing? Bonus: What did he have for lunch yesterday?
a. Rarely - About once per week
b. All the time - About once a day
c. Depends - Now you see him, now you don't!
3b - To Band Mates only!
During band practices / sectionals, how often do you strike a conversation / talk with Khee Xuan? Bonus: What was the latest topic you've talked about with Khee Xuan?
a. Rarely - The most we said was 'hi!' and nothing else
b. All the time - We are bosom buddies!
c. Sometimes - When we sit in groups after band prac, which I will then add a little bit of my input here and there and sometimes talk to him.
4. If you were giving out Yakult (a beverage that aids digestion), what flavour would you give Khee Xuan? Bonus: Does he open up the package of 5 Yakults from the Original flavour side or Apple flavour side?
a. Original
b. Orange
c. Grape
5. What object is Khee Xuan most fascinated about? (as of now) Bonus: Which of these items is in the possession of Khee Xuan's hands?
a. Jumping beans
b. Mood rings
c. Motorola V80 Handphone
Got your answers on the paper? Sure you can refer to the guide now? Ok, take a breath and scroll down...
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1. Proximity question - If you chose (a), (b) or (c), you will get 5, 3 or 1 point(s) respectively.
2. Daily coversation - (a) = 1 pt, (b) = 3 pts, (c) = 5pts.
3a/b. Daily contact - (a) = 1 pt, (b) = 5 pts, (c) = 3 pts
4. Knowledge of his likes and dislikes - (a) = 5 pts, (b) = 1 pt, (c) = 3 pts
5. Knowledge about the current feelings of him - (a) = 1 pt, (b) = 3 pts, (c) = 5 pts
* Bonus + 2 pts
Add all the scores together and the sum will tell you how close you are to Khee Xuan:
5 - 9 pts: You aren't really close to him. Maybe arrogant Khee Xuan does not even regard you as an existing person. I mean, you must be close to him or something or else you would not be reading this book to annoy him rite? In this case, there's no need for you to read the book anymore - you are too insignificant for him to be annoyed with.
10 - 18 pts: An average rather close friend of Khee Xuan. A potential friend for him to hang out with. You might want to talk to him more about everything under the sun = gossip, or know more about him. It's either you don't take the opportunity to get close enough or you don't know him well enough to made you obtain such moderate scores. Work on it!
19 - 27 pts: Congratulations if you obtained this score! Finally, there are people that are closer to Khee Xuan physically and mentally than his parents and relatives. It MIGHT be a blessing to be close to him, feeling free to insult him and talk to him like a good friend. However, BEWARE! Of his singing, even deeper and worse mockery and teasing... But, this score is the best as compared to other categories because this proximity is just the ideal one for your relationship with him as a friend to be much better and deeper. Good luck!
28 - 35 pts: Are you over-obsessed with Khee Xuan or what? This score shows over-proximity with Khee Xuan, perhaps even further than his best friends. There are only 2 tendecies - 1. You cheated in this quiz 2. You stalk him like never before... Anyway, a caution note for people under this category, you are scary and too close to Khee Xuan. I suggest that you try to limit yourself and trust me, the less you know about him, the better it is. So try control your urges and emotions alright?
Once matched and know what category you are in, try to work on it, or work off it depending on your score. And check out the next issue of "Guide to Survive Khee Xuan" soon for the quiz on "How much do you know about Khee Xuan?"
Signing off,
Anonymous Writer GW
